Monday, August 24, 2009

Here goes.

I'm going to be completely honest in this post. I dunno what's beneficial about typing this (since I don't think anybody actually reads this blog) but it's satisfying to me to get it out, even if I feel like I'm talking to a wall.

Right now I'm not content with how my life has been going. I'm done with school (pretty much), living at home, working whatever job I can get to save up money. Most of what Hartford has to offer bores me at this point, and if I continue to live here, I don't see my life going anywhere special. Despite the fact that I'm still driven to keep making art, I can't help but feel depressed more often than not. I know exactly what I want to do in life however, so I guess that puts me ahead of a lot of the rest. Still, I'm not happy, and despite having several close friends, I still feel very alone here.

Right now I'm planning to get my MFA in computer animation down at SCAD. If I'm to get a job as an animator working full time at a company it'll give me the financial security that I seek, as well as potential health benefits and whatnot. I may not have complete creative freedom if I'm working for some company, but it's easily a sacrifice I'd make. One day I'm really going to need the money to support myself an even a family, and a job like that would provide both, and then some.

To look even further ahead...

Eventually I could leave my work and start my own company that freelances with other companies in the industry. It could consist of me and various friends in the art community, and would allow more creative freedom as well as a (still) consistent flow of income. I'll have much more real world experience under my belt so it would be easier then then it would now (with me still being a random dude just finishing college).

And to look even further ahead...

When I get old, I quit all that and just become a fine artist. Build my cabin in the woods and just paint :)

Anyways, I'm doing fine overall, but I'm just recognizing that I need a change in my life. Dumb as this sounds, I know that I have the potential for far greater things then I'm doing right now, and staying in CT is holding me back. I may move out even earlier then expected, possibly this winter. I'll see.

To anybody who actually read all that, thank you. Venting and getting stuff off your chest helps a lot. I know one day (soon) I'll be over this mild slump in life, and I thank my friends and all those who have been supportive for their help.

Peace out. :)

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